Offensive Names

I kills me how Corporate America freaks out over the smallest thing. The Almighty Dollar has seduced everyone into thinking if they can just find the lowest common denominator, they can please everyone and enjoy a greater profit margin because of it.

Sports teams are one of the worst when it comes to dollars and sensitivity. Millions of fans pack into Whatsitworthtoya Stadium and feed off of hotdogs, beer and ice cream that cost Joe Fan a second mortgage and his firstborn.

Teams are constantly selling the latest style of jersey for top dollar. For a price, fans of all ages can enjoy the privelege of showing off the latest jersey of their favorite team and, for an additional charge, they can have the name of their favorite player on the back. Teams of every sport are always ready to take advantage of the next oppurtunity for appeasing fans and bringing in more profits, even if it means changing the name of their team just in case the mascot may be offensive to a group.

The 1997-98 season was historic for the NBA franchise in Washington D.C. It marked the first time the team was known as the "Wizards". The move was part of an anti-violence policy practiced by the team. Washington Bullets somehow would inspire someone to entertain thoughts of violent acts. To date, the Golden State Warriors have yet to change their name.

Every team in sports offends one group or another. Who could forget the tomahawk chop in Atlanta and Florida that offended American Indians. The Cleveland Indians and Washington Redskins continue to receive criticism for their mascots.

With the baseball pennant races starting up, I thought I would take this time to expose every team for their insensitive choosing of names. In this era of ever-increasing political correctness, I give you the franchises who fly under the radar with their blatant exploitation of groups regardless of gender, orientation and even occupation. Teams named after an American Indian or an animal will be skipped over. Everyone is well aware of the violations it already brings to animal rights.


Boston Red Sox - The defending world champions promote discriminating with their name. How could you not see it? Red Sox? White Sox? Why do we need to distinguish colors?

Chicago White Sox - See Boston Red Sox.

Cincinnati Reds - History says they were originally known as the Red Stockings (ripping off another team perhaps?) Others say they were known as the Red Legs. If you stay out in the sun too long, you get red legs. This is promoting sakin cancer. The team shortened it's name in another cover-up.

Colorado Rockies - As in tap the Rockies? Like Coors Beer? This team is promoting drinking to all ages. Don't the Rockies play in Coors Field? Hmm....

Houston Astros - I'm guessing they mean Astronauts. This insults anyone with a fear of flying.

Kansas City Royals - What message are we sending to people when America promotes a team named Royal? What was the American Revolution all about? It's amazing our children aren't confused.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim - This one is almost too easy. First, are they from Los Angeles or are they from Anaheim? Atheists must feel slapped in the face having a biblical figure forced into their radio and television sets. The team doesn't even know what city they're in. Now they are promoting a figure some people don't even believe in.

Los Angeles Dodgers - Why Dodge? Stand up for yourself? Be proud of who you are! By the way, Los Angeles Dodgers of what? I'm so confused.

Milwaukee Brewers - Children watch this team play! What does a Brewer do? SHAME ON THEM!

Minnesota Twins - Why exploit the Twins when the triplets, quadruplets, etc. are left alone.

New York Mets - The closest thing I could find for "Met" was "Metropolis" or capital city. The Washington Capitals have some explaining to do ripping off a team that was there first. Do the Mets play in the Capital City?

New York Yankees - I know what you're thinking: How could this team offend anyone? Anyone study the Civil War? How does this team get away with offending Americans south of the Mason-Dixon Line?

Oakland A's - The name sounds innocent enough. Right? WRONG! the A's stand for "Athletics". This spits in the face of everyone who was picked last in gym class.

Pittsburgh Pirates - Pirates? Looting? Kidnapping? What message are they trying to send here?

Philadelphia Phillies - There is no definition of "Phillie" in the dictionary. What is a Phillie? This team is obviously hiding something.

San Diego Padres - Why not the Madres? Why not hermanos?

San Fransisco Giants - This offends the short people of the world.

Seattle Mariners - Mariners travel by sea. They fish. Animal rights violaters.

Texas Rangers - The Texas Rangers were originally formed in the 1800's to protect people from harm (insert Kenny Rogers joke here). These men carried firearms. Another blatant exploitation and glorification of violence.

Washington Nationals - This offends states and cities.