Yesterday I ran into a couple who used to live in my neighborhood until last year. I would see them from time to time sitting on their front steps and I would chat with them as I was doing things around the yard or coming and going to and from various errands people do everyday. It was a common occurrence but one that I always liked. I grew up in a neighborhood where everyone knew everyone and people were always talking to each other. Kids were always playing with each other and the grown-ups would be together at a planned occasion or just a chat that turns into a couple of beers and a little more chat.
We lamented to each other about our respective neighborhoods and how that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. This is partly because of the realities of Suburbia today. More and more neighborhoods are bedroom communities. People spend most of their time out of work getting to and from work. One of my neighbors leaves his house at 6:00 in the morning to be on time to his job. He is understandably tired at the end of the day and he is in bed early at night, tired from the commute, the job, and he needs to be up early the next morning so he can be back at it again.
My old neighbors and I came to the same conclusion: No one talks to people anymore. There are houses with lights on and flickering television sets. Nothing else. I take walks around the neighborhood and see the same thing on every street: dimly lit houses closed up for the night.
I'm not going to pretend I shun electronics or don't watch TV. I do and I like it. I just remember the warmer nights of the year when kids would be playing until their parents had to threaten them with punishment if they didn't, "get their butts over here," and parents would stop from raking the front lawn or watering their grass and flowers and take some time to chat with whoever was walking by. It usually wasn't anything Earth-shattering or something you would remember for the rest of your life but it was a little time with people in your part of town checking in on each other.
No one does that anymore. One night I suggested to my wife we grab a bottle of wine and drop in on some people we had been friends with for years and hadn't seen in years. Her response was, "No one does that anymore." Why not? Since when? When exactly did people stop having a social outlet in their neighborhood and roll up the front walk at the end of the day.
I understand people work and they have their obligations to their families. My family has its share of extra-curricular activities just like every other family. But what happened to sitting around and having a beer and chewing the fat, the rag, or solving the world's problems. I do have one glimmer of hope: Once a week friends gather at someone's house on Thursdays during the summer. It's a time we can catch up with friends of ours who live in different parts of the neighborhood for a cookout. Back home, the weather is cooling off. We will be heading back indoors lighting up the fireplace and I will be wondering if we will be seeing people outside when the weather warms up again.
By the way, the old neighbors I saw moved out almost a year ago. We've seen the new neighbors maybe three times.
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